Our story so far: We spent months renovating an old Methodist church to turn into our home/ We finally finished sanding the floors, and we were beginning to see some finishing details come to fruition.

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Chapter 34

At some point in eighth grade, my stepson was assigned by his English teacher an exercise to create similes for every color of the rainbow. My stepson is smart as a whip (see what I did there?) but not exceptionally creative. So his first attempt was something like “as green as grass” and “as yellow as the sun.” I pushed him to try again—to think of unique similes. I recall being inordinately proud of his teenage simile for orange: “As orange as my fingers after eating a bag of Cheetos.”

Pretty descriptive, right? You know that unnatural orange, made of neon seasonings and various dyes that are named with numbers. It’s lethal to clean clothes and furniture. Very clever. As orange as that.

Well, that’s sort of what color our sanctuary floor turned into after we stained it.

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Tomorrow: Wait, back up. Driftwood turned the floor orange? Read the missteps that caused this here.