A remodeling mantra only a Tom Hanks fan could love

Our story so far: The owners of the church struggle to come up with the paperwork to sell it.

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When our offer was about to expire on Halloween, the seller ominously requested two more weeks. All Hallows’ Eve, or the evening before All Saints’ Day known popularly as Halloween is the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (“hallows”), martyrs and all the faithful departed. Though frustrated, we didn’t want our deal to die. We were faithful. But the “two more weeks” sounded like a warning.

Home remodeling fans surely recall the infamous line from Tom Hanks in the movie “The Money Pit.” Everything was going to take two weeks. Construction. Reconstruction. Repairs. Finishing. Everything was “two weeks.” In the beginning, the unfortunate home owner played by Hanks asks a contractor, “When I do get the permits, how long will the job take?”

“Two weeks,” the contractor says.

“Two weeks? Two weeks?”

“You sound like a parakeet there. ‘Two weeks! Two weeks!’” the contractor mocks.

“Well, two weeks. It—it’s amazing,” says Tom Hanks’ character, shaking his head.

“’It’s amazing’ nothing,” the contractor says under his breath as he drives away in a pickup truck. “It’ll be a regular miracle.”

At this point in the game, we were depending on that miracle. Because without it, our water lines in the camper were going to freeze and we’d be two shivering homeless grandparents-to-be.

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Tomorrow: Chapter 2 opens with a meditation on the meaning of crazy. Click here to read.

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