Overwrought

Our story so far: My husband built a balcony off the choir loft in the 126-year-old Methodist church we were turning into our home.

# # #

More urgent that carpeting: A railing. Walking near the edge of the plywood was unnerving. When all we had was a doorway to nowhere, I urged Tyler to cordone off the scary maw. But with thirty-plus feet of balcony edge, there was no way to create temporary safety barriers.

We returned to the local manufacturer where we fantasized about a spiral staircase. The proprietor offered to let us mix-and-match her overstock railing spindles in the back room. We pawed through a half dozen dusty boxes (imagine how black the dust in an iron welding joint can be), and we were rewarded with enough forty-two-inch spindles to create a traditional wrought iron railing with a hint of upscale details.

The proprietor also paid us a visit at the church to measure and discuss the details of the stairway, which would take eight to twelve weeks to fabricate.

# # #

Tomorrow: More ceilings. See them here.

Swept away by, not under, the carpet

Our story so far: Things were looking up in the old Methodist church we were turning into our home when my husband Tyler finished constructing the floor of the balcony in the great room.

# # #

Now we could not just imagine but actually see all the square footage we had added with this balcony. It was magnificent even in its inchoate state. We had essentially added a second living room; one would be able to watch the big-screen TV on the main floor from the balcony. Tyler described the dream recliner he wanted to situate there in all its roomy, reclining leather glory.

square footage
A view of the in-progress balcony from the north end.

But the drawback of all that square footage was all that square footage. We had planned to save a lot of money on flooring by restoring the Douglas fir, oak and pine floors throughout the rest of the main floor and second story. But there was no restoring the plywood flooring on the balcony.

A trip to a flooring store yielded one word when the salesman announced the price per square foot of the carpeting we liked: “Ouch.”

OK, well we could put off that decision (and expense) for a while. Clearly, we would have to shop around. One of the Big Box retailers was summoned to measure and provide a quote, maybe install the ethereal loop-pile carpeting in a creamy white with light gray lattice pattern we saw displayed on an endcap. It was called “Snowflake.” I was reminded of humorist Erma Bombeck who once quipped, “All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them.”

carpet samples
From left, Hammerhead, Snowflake and Moon Dust. Which would you choose?

“Do we dare install white carpeting?” I asked, polling family members with chunks of Snowflake, Moon Dust and Hammerhead.

“The Hammerhead is safer,” my son-in-law said.

But everyone else voted for creamy white.

I didn’t know if we had the courage required to install such light-colored carpeting in the place. But on the other hand, weren’t we—a couple in their 50s with no children in the house looking to cover a floor far from muddy outside entrances—the perfect candidates for white carpeting?

# # #

Tomorrow: Nailing a railing. Read about it here.

Baby, I’m amazed

Our story so far: During the demolition phase of renovating the 126-year-old Methodist church into our home, Tyler discovered the choir loft, and we decided to open it up to a balcony into the sanctuary, our future great room.

# # #

village people
The Village People

Once the header supporting the second floor was installed, Tyler built the archway upon which the floor joists of the balcony would rest. He enlisted the help of the HVAC guys to raise the arch (witnessing this, all I could think about was an old-fashioned barn raising—it takes a village to build a balcony). Then Tyler—with St. Johnny’s muscle—began nailing great big two-by-tens into place. Pretty soon he had a pergola built above what would someday soon be our kitchen.

pergola balcony
The floor joists of the balcony in place.

Putting a layer of plywood over the floor joists was easy—after the first piece. I was glad I wasn’t around to watch Tyler straddling floor joists nine feet off the floor to juggle that first piece of plywood and nail it on. He arrived home in one piece that day, so success had been secured.

To wrap up the balcony, Tyler constructed cross joists from the pergola to the north and south walls of the church. These were narrower than the center part of the balcony in order to clear the spiral stairway on the north side and the front window on the south. With the science part complete, a bit of art was necessary to draw the main part of the balcony together with the narrow part; Tyler planned a dramatic scallop and swoop to soften the edges of the balcony.

“Aren’t you impressed that I got that balcony built basically by myself?” Tyler asked me a few days later. He did not have to ask me this question because he knew very well I was impressed with his knowledge of construction and ability to carry out the plan. He asked this question out loud because after all he had built throughout his life, even he was impressed with this particular project.

# # #

Tomorrow: What do we do with all that square footage? Read about it here.

Every long journey begins with a single step (or two)

Our story so far: Things were looking up in the old Methodist church we were turning into our home.

# # #

The grand plan to open up the choir loft required Tyler to construct a balcony for the loft to open up to.

This project began with two steps. To clear the edge of the sanctuary ceiling, we needed two steps down from the second story onto the balcony. This was a big math problem in order to get the step and run measurements correct and beginning in the right place.

After measuring twice (or thrice), he cut once—a hole in the floor. Then he constructed the steps themselves. For the most part, he worked from underneath the two steps, standing on a ladder.

steps to balcony
Ta-da! Two steps.
steps from bottom
The steps are just as impressive from the underside, where one can see all the support structure. At some point, all of this will be hidden away in our bedroom closet.

Now he was ready to build the balcony itself.

# # #

Tomorrow: It takes a village. Read about it here.

A blank canvas upon which to paint dreams

Our story so far: The 20-foot ceiling in the sanctuary—our future great room—was the whole reason we were interested in the old Methodist church so we wanted it to look not just good but grand. 

# # #

ceiling paint job
The drywallers at work, painting.

As long as the scaffolding was in place (and before we built the balcony), Tyler enlisted the drywallers to paint the sanctuary ceiling. As with the drywall, they were nothing if not efficient. They used a sprayer and an enormous roller to do the work. When I walked into the sanctuary to check their progress, it was like walking into fog; the process created an astonishing amount of airborne particulates. Hours later, a fine white dust covered everything in the room.

What color white? This was another detail that mattered. I didn’t want neon white—this was no hospital—so I chose Behr’s Sleek White in eggshell. It was that or Polar Bear, which had a grayish cast. I hoped I chose well.

How much paint is required to paint a church ceiling? Now we knew. We purchased ten gallons of primer and ten gallons of white paint. I couldn’t even lift the buckets! Then, two days later, I picked up two more gallons of paint so the drywallers could finish the job. Twenty-two gallons. That’s a lot of paint.

20 gallons of paint
It’s a workout pushing 20 gallons of paint through a Big Box store.

# # #

Tomorrow: Building a balcony begins with two steps. Read about it here.

Let’s take it from the top

Our story so far: My husband Tyler and I purchased a 126-year-old Methodist church to turn into our home. Three months in, we had completed demolition and were deep into the framing and mechanicals phase of the project.

# # #

Chapter 21

Our Number One design rule was “details matter,” and this was most important starting at the top: The ceilings. The high ceiling in the sanctuary—our future great room—was the whole reason we were interested in a church so we wanted it to look not just good but grand. This is where the finishing work began.

As soon as they had completed demo on the sanctuary ceiling, the drywallers got to work installing the product from which they derived their name: Drywall.

Drywall, for the uninitiated, is a panel made of gypsum plaster pressed between thick sheets of paper. In modern homes, drywall is rarely seen but it literally surrounds us, concealed with paint or wallpaper or paneling inside our walls and ceilings. In the 1950s, it began replacing the traditional lath and plaster as a speedier alternative. We’d removed a good deal of plaster lath from the church to expose areas where we required ducts, pipes and wiring, but on the whole we left it intact where we could because it was strong and secure. But this wasn’t the Sistine Chapel, and we weren’t creating frescos in the plaster. Our sanctuary ceiling required new drywall to replace the fiberboard tiles that were there when we bought the church.

before drywall
The sanctuary ceiling, post demo. You can see the fiberboard tiles on two-thirds of it. We just covered them up with drywall.

Drywall comes in 4-by-8-foot sheets, and the drywallers chose to get it into the church with a boom truck through the upstairs windows. One might think an eighth-inch doesn’t make any difference in most matters, but not Tyler. He chose 5/8-inch drywall for the sanctuary ceiling because it was stiffer and laid flatter. It was also heavier. At one point, Tyler’s hired man St. Johnny and I moved a few pieces out of the way, and it was like, well, like hitting a brick wall.

But the unwieldiness of these large sheets of drywall didn’t deter the drywall team, even as they navigated scaffolding fifteen feet high and higher. Mudding the seams came next, and in a matter of a few days, they had performed their magic.

drywall
The great room ceiling, post drywall and mudding.

# # #

Tomorrow: How many gallons does it take to paint a church ceiling? Read about it here.

Like Chinese water torture

Our story so far: With four bathrooms planned for the old church we were converting into our home, we juggled a lot of details in the mechanicals phase of our project.

# # #

One afternoon when I arrived at the church after a day filled with exciting errands like picking up rough-in valves for Glimfeather the plumber and more paint for the drywallers who were making like Michelangelo and painting the cathedral ceiling, Tyler put me to work handing him tools for the construction of a form to contain the floor-leveling compound in which the upstairs shower stall would nestle.

Tyler built sides for the form; the bottom was simply the century-old pine flooring. Leveling compound is similar to concrete, only soupier. After adding water to the dusty compound, Tyler poured the goop into the form.

Immediately, we could hear the dripping.

“Is it leaking?” Tyler said, then more urgently when it was clear it was indeed leaking, “Where is it leaking?”

I ran down the steps and looked in horror at the rainfall of gray, pasty soup dripping through the floor, through the form, through the shower drain hole.

“Everywhere!”

One of the HVAC guys, who had been working in the basement, appeared out of nowhere to rescue a big roll of aluminum foil bubble wrap covered in pasty drips of leveling compound. “What is that?”

“Leveling compound,” I answered.

“Well, it’s leveling all the way to the basement.”

I shoved a tray and a bucket in place to catch drops.

“Get back up here!” Tyler bellowed.

He’d filled in a couple of the holes but we’d lost so much compound through the cracks, we needed more to fill the form. Tyler began mixing again. “Hand me bottles of water.”

Remember, we didn’t have running water in the church yet. The first batch of soup was made with a jug of water collected that morning at the rental house.

Tyler mixed up another batch of soup and dumped it in the form. “Is it still dripping?”

I ran downstairs again to look even though we both knew it was because we could hear it.

“Yup.”

But the waterfall had slowed to a trickle.

When Tyler came downstairs, I asked, “Did you know that was going to happen?”

“Well, they’re old floors. There’s bound to be a few holes.”

“It was pretty holey.”

“Well, that’s right. We live in a church. It’s a holy floor.”

# # #

Tomorrow: Things are looking up as Chapter 21 begins. Read it here.

Double dip

Our story so far: While juggling other projects, we worked on the bathrooms in the 126-year-old Methodist church we were turning into our home.

# # #

Meanwhile, Tyler ordered the fiberglass shower surround and corner tub for the upstairs bathroom from two different big-box retailers (each cost roughly $1,000, which goes to show how much less were cookie-cutter options than custom ones). We needed to have these before we constructed the walls because they both were too large to get through the doorway. Fortunately when they arrived by delivery truck, the odd assortment of contractors on site at the time helped get them upstairs.

We (by “we,” I mean mostly Tyler) built the walls for the bathroom on the second floor. Like our other bathrooms, this one featured a pocket door.

Besides the pockets provided in the form of a kit from Home Depot, these pocket doors required doors. For the second-floor bathroom and the powder room on the main floor, we were using the doors that had been on the basement bathroom and utility room. They were beautiful solid wood covered by layers of paint (and other gunk).

Rest Room Signed door
This door, formerly on the basement bathroom, would be reused as the powder room pocket door on the main floor.

Tyler tried using a non-caustic stripper, but he got nowhere with it.

So we endeavored to have them dipped. Dip stripping is when wood is placed in a large vat of solvent to help remove paint and varnish before refinishing. A nearby antiques dealer hooked us up with her dipper.

The doors were free because they came with the church. But dipping them cost $200 each.

Oof. You know that sound Skipper makes when Gilligan accidentally hits him in the gut? Yeah, that.

dipped doors
Doors, post dip.

But in any case, they turned out beautifully. All they would require is a bit of light stain and some polyurethane. And a couple of cool plates to cover the door knob holes.

# # #

Monday: Speaking of holes … Read about it here.

We aim to please; you aim, too, please

Our story so far: We were preoccupied by bathrooms as the plumber worked and we renovated the 126-year-old Methodist church we were turning into our home.

# # #

But nothing could be as bad as the contractors’ bucket.

Shortly after Glimfeather the plumber began work, the only piece of operational plumbing in the church was decommissioned in order to move around pipes or drains or vents or something.

But like other bodily functions, pee happens. The parade of contractors through the church were exclusively men so Tyler could get away with establishing a five-gallon bucket in the back entryway as a temporary urinal. Who needs a porta-potty when ya got a bucket?

I, of course, opted out. Way out. I wouldn’t even volunteer to empty the thing. But I also had to plan my coffee consumption and work breaks in order to make a trip back to the rental house to relieve myself when necessary.

For a month, the guys carried on with nary a complaint (guys are like that).

As Glimfeather wrapped up his work, the original toilet in all its porcelain glory and running water was reinstalled in the basement bathroom which, I should mention, still lacked an operational vanity sink and a door, but still—a toilet! Applause—with unwashed hands—erupted in the crowd.

# # #

Tomorrow: We take a dip. Read it here.